Preplanning a Celebration of Life

When most people think of funerals, traditional services come to mind. They imagine somber, teary-eyed mourners dressed in black suits and dresses, sitting in the pews of a church or funeral home chapel, listening to a sermon. That is certainly one type of funeral ceremony that can be beautiful and help people to heal. But funerals and memorial services don't have to look like that in order to be meaningful.

The term “celebration of life” has become kind of a catch-all for any kind of nontraditional funeral or memorial service. Depending who you ask, it might mean a low-key gathering of close friends and family at a restaurant to share memories of someone who's died, or a huge party at a rented-out sports stadium. They can be secular, include elements of faith, laid back, black-tie, intimate, outdoors, or anything else a family finds meaningful.

What makes them special is how they are personalized to reflect the life being honored. Which can make preplanning your own feel a little awkward. Isn't it a little self-centered to tell your family how they're supposed to remember you?

But preplanning isn't about micromanaging your memorial service from the beyond. It's about planning for the big stuff – the hard choices that your grieving, emotionally exhausted family members might disagree over or feel overwhelmed trying to decide on – so they can spend their energy healing rather than stressing.

Plan to relieve a burden.

How do you want your body to be cared for after you die? Do you want to be buried in the family plot or have your remains given to the earth in a green burial ceremony? Would you prefer to be cremated and have your ashes scattered over the Sandias, or should your cremated remains be placed in an urn and kept on the mantel where your loved ones can keep your memory close? What suits your values? What makes sense for your family's needs?

By putting your answers in a formal plan with a funeral director, your loved ones don't have to spend time understanding every option or guessing what you wanted. They can simply call the funeral home when the time comes, and everything will be taken care of.

The details don't matter, unless they do.

When you're preplanning your own funeral service or celebration of life ceremony, you can make your plans as detailed or open-ended as you wish. You can focus on the big-picture items that people are likely to feel anxious about getting right, such as where to scatter your ashes, and leave the smaller details open to interpretation so that no one has to stress over not being able to find the exact caterer you mentioned.

Even if you aren't concerned with the details, being explicit about what does and doesn't matter will be helpful to your loved ones. It relieves them of the pressure they might feel to do something more traditional that doesn't suit you or them, out of worry they have to do things “right.” Having a formal plan gives your loved ones permission to have a simple, nontraditional, or totally unique service that actually matches your life and personality.

If you're ready to start planning your celebration of life or have questions about what to do next, the preplanning specialists at French Funerals & Cremations can help. Call us at 505-843-6333 to schedule an appointment, or begin preplanning online.