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Death is Never Simple

Published: February 18, 2019

You have just died. Your family, in the throes of grief, have no idea what your final wishes were. You never talked about your own funeral. Who does, really? Death isn’t really dinner conversation.

Unfortunately, your loved ones don’t have much time to sit with their grief. There is so much to do and think about. Almost immediately there are phone calls to make, decisions to be made, accounts to be closed, and paperwork to fill out. Did you want to be cremated? Open or closed casket? What kind of service? And don’t forget the smaller details. Your family will be tasked with choosing flower arrangements, what to dress you in, writing obituaries and eulogies, and selecting music to play at your service, to name just a fraction of the to-do list. They’ll want to honor your memory in the best way possible. But what does that mean? What your child deems most fitting may be met with disagreement from their siblings or your spouse. Oftentimes families find themselves in conflict over planning their loved one’s funeral, at the time when they most need one another’s support and comfort.

“That’s easy,” you might be thinking. “I just won’t have a funeral at all then.” Makes sense. But even direct cremation, the ‘simplest’ of death care options, only determines how your body will be treated. It doesn’t take into account who is transporting your body, if there will be a ceremony at the cremation, who will be present, what kind of urn they’ll want if any, where you’ll want your ashes interred or scattered, or who will pay for it all.

And you have to ask yourself: Is that how my family will want to pay their final respects?

This is why many people are choosing to plan their final arrangements in advance. By preplanning, all the decisions (and costs) that would have fallen on your loved ones are taken off their plate. Preplanning ensures that your final wishes are carried out exactly as you would have wanted, and frees your family to be with each other and grieve in peace.

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